Let’s talk a little about consent first. Consent is when a guy and a girl voluntarily agree to engage in sexual activity. It also means knowing what you want, how you want it, and when you want it. If you have agreed to have sex with a condom, it means the guy must wear the condom during the entire act.
Simply put, it is a clear-cut ‘yes’ to the what, when, and how of the sex act.
Now let’s come to Stealthing. In the simplest terms, Stealthing involves removing the condom midway during sex, without informing the partner. As you can see, it didn’t follow the ‘how’ and hence, goes against consent. Thus, it is wrong and a serious issue!
Sex should be a pleasurable and safe experience. Removing the condom without informing the girl puts the girl at a higher risk of unplanned pregnancy, STIs, and doesn’t respect her freedom and her body.
In the heat of the moment, you may never know when he has taken the condom off. What should you do if it happens to you? First and foremost, get yourself tested. You have been exposed to a higher chance of catching STIs and HIV. Do not delay it, my friend, for your personal health might be in danger. Next, get yourself checked for pregnancy. Even if one sperm manages to fertilize an egg, it could lead to pregnancy and that changes the whole situation for you. Unplanned pregnancy can alter your lifestyle, affect you physically, emotionally, and psychologically, or you may simply not be prepared for it.
Stealthing breaks your trust and you may feel cheated. Talk to a trusted friend or visit a doctor and get counselling. Finally, talk to your partner. Make him understand that you gave your consent to having sex if he wears a condom the whole time and not partly! Removing it without your consent is not cool. If he doesn’t understand, he’s not worth your time and you should walk away. Sex is your right and so is the way you want it.
Stealthing is a serious issue and you should not tolerate or practice it. Your partner may say that it makes the sex more intimate but the truth is, it’s happening without your consent and hence, completely off-limits. Period. Talk to your partner about it. Make him understand the importance of following consent, using a condom, and of respecting your body. Practice safe sex and always remember, a condom a day keeps STIs and STDs at bay. Stay safe, play safe!