The answer to this question isn’t clear-cut.

It’s really hard to tell up front whether someone might become abusive. Abusers can often be very charming in the beginning. That’s why many people get trapped in abusive relationships. They don’t see it coming, and by the time they recognize the abuse, they feel like they’ve caused it or can’t get out of it. Abusers usually blame their partners for the abuse. They might say things like, “I can’t believe you made me hit you.” That’s how abusers keep their partners afraid and dependent. If you start to see signs of possessiveness, controlling behaviour or excessive aggression, follow your gut and don’t wait around for it to get out of hand.