A two-way street: Why it’s important to share responsibilities
Sharing responsibilities is the key to any partnership and sex is no exception! Escaping and Ghosting isn’t acceptable when in a relationship, you should be accountable to one another.
Open lines of communication are so important. Don’t shy away from letting your partner know what’s on your mind. You never know, your partner and you might be sharing some same insecurities. It could be anything like being worried about your performance or how desirable you are. A quick chat to touch base and share these feelings can put those anxious thoughts to rest. Talking it out will be a relief and a great weight off your shoulders.
Point being, Guys and Girls – Understanding your partner is important! So, please communicate!.
Read on as we discuss some ways you and partner can take an equitable approach to your relationship
- Break the Silence
For the longest time, direct talk about sex was a taboo in pop culture. Remember when two flowers substituted kissing in our movies… LOL well times sure have changed! Add gender and other social inequalities to the picture and you’ll find the decision making power is often skewed in relationships. . Sometimes cultural and social norms discourage us from talking about these matters at all, let alone with our romantic partners.
Well, that stops now! Those days are behind us.
So, get past the nerves and speak your mind! It is important for partners to communicate about their needs, wants, priorities and boundaries be it sexual or non-sexual.
If you don’t like something then speak up, let the partner know how you feel, and conversely make sure to let them know what you do like! No one can read minds.
Mutual understanding and agreement becomes easy when communication flows well. Just Like Chanda found the courage to talk to Pulkit about how she was uncomfortable to engage in a physically intimate relationship before marriage and Pulkit completely understood and respected it. Quite simple, isn’t it?
- Consent is important (Yes even within a relationship or marriage):
Being in a relationship does not grant one unlimited access to their partners body. We all enjoy bodily autonomy and it is important to check in with your partner so that you are on the same page.Sure, we understand our partners better than we understand strangers. But that doesn’t mean that we have a right to assume their consent to everything at all times. Isn’t it much better to seek your partner’s consent and also be frank and assertive about your own yeses and nos in the bedroom?
Jyoti should have been more assertive in the bedroom when she was uncomfortable about having unprotected sex with Ragahb. She should have insisted on using the condom and denied engaging in sex when Ragahv did not listen. Just agreeing to a partner and succumbing to their needs in such situations where consent and protection is at risk is not acceptable.
- Protection is a shared responsibility
It takes two to tango. It also takes two to make babies. So, it’s not solely the lookout of one partner to use protection. Couples, married or unmarried, need to discuss their plans for having children frankly and must take equal responsibility for using contraception to avoid pregnancy. Same goes for using protection to avoid STDs Exploring options of protection and contraception is a shared job as is purchasing such necessities.
Like, being casual about contraception and condom use should not be acceptable if both the partners are not in agreement. Raghav should have used a condom when Jyoti insisted and Jyoti should have planned being on birth control if they were sexually active. Communication and pre-planning would have also helped them avoid the unplanned pregnancy.
If an unplanned pregnancy does occur by accident, a pregnancy does result, both partners are equally accountable if neither of them were alert enough.
Like, When Jyoti became pregnant after having unprotected sex with Raghav, despite who blames who in the situation, the responsibility is of both the people. Raghav should have accompanied Jyoti to the doctor and stood beside her. Both the people should have made the decision together and dealt with it in a responsible manner.
- Honesty is the best policy
If you are mentally or physically unwell, it’s best to tell your partner about it instead of risking your health to please them. Not just in terms of safety or consent, but even when it comes to pleasure, it’s important to think about both of your wants and needs. This is about mutual pleasure!. Why not be honest about what you enjoy and what you don’t! Discussing this with your partner can even be a fun and sexy way to explore together. It is important to be patient and attentive about your partner’s preferences. Open conversations and being respectful to your partner and their preferences allows for a healthy relationship. It is the responsibility of both the partners to be accountable to one another and maintain an honest relationship
- Lying does no good
Being truthful is the foundation of any healthy relationship. This definitely involves more than not cheating on your partner and having secret affairs or flings with others. Be it women hiding their pregnancy from their partners due to various reasons or men hiding their sexual issues to avoid looking ‘weak’, covering the truth mostly does more bad than good. At the end of the day, you deserve a partner with whom you can share just about anything, even if it’s not always good news! Honesty is always the best policy! If you are not feeling good in the relationship, it is important to address this openly with your partner rather than cheat or lie.
For example, If Raghav was unhappy in his relationship with Jyoti, he should have openly told her instead of making excuses, being dishonest and cheating on her. Honesty is what mends a relationship, shying away from the real situation isn’t the answer to problems.
A relationship only works when both people share equal responsibility be it in a sexual or a non-sexual context.