Talking about sex is something that almost every Indian avoids. It makes us deeply uncomfortable because talking about an intimate and private act can be awkward. However, with the rise in STDs, unwanted pregnancies and dating culture, it has become important for us to talk about it openly. In an age where there is a smog around consent, it is important that we don’t shy away from these discussions. So, what are the things about sex that make us super-awkward?
- The Culture
Yes, it can get hard to talk about sex openly considering the shame and traditional opinions people have in India. Sex being considered as a ‘lower’ form of desire coupled with the shame created by religions doesn’t really help. Does it? This explains the awkwardness that prevails.
How to address it: Well, times have changed and it is more important now than ever to talk about sexual needs openly. Know that sex is a biological need and there is absolutely no shame in having it and talking about it! Start conversations around it, today!
- The Place
Lack of privacy is a huge problem in India as a lot of youngsters either live with their parents or with their fellow roommates. Parents never openly talk to their children about having a sexual relationship and there is judgment all around. Finding a place can be really hard to share a moment alone with your loved one.
How to address it: Try communicating with your parents and friends if you think they will understand! Don’t just assume because everyone faces the issue of finding some privacy and alone time. And if that seems too impossible make use of apps/services that understand the need for a couple’s privacy. Get a room! And always stay safe!
- Initiating It
The first step is always tough! It is always difficult to know if you and your partner are on the same page – Should you say it directly? Should we say it in a clever but indirect way? Is hinting a good idea? And, you’re just running around in circles.
How to address it: Consider the situation: Are you both close enough for you to say it directly? Do you both need time and space for the relationship to blossom to this level? Trying talking to your partner openly about how you feel. Communication is key! When you have answers to these questions, you will be clear in your head.
- Consent
Consent is an integral part of intimacy. It is important that there is a mutual agreement between you and your partner at any level of the relationship. Unfortunately, some of our movies and society have warped our notions around it. So many assumptions and unexpressed emotions. Confusion Confusion!
How to address it: Understand that anything other than an enthusiastic “Yes” is not consent. If agreed to once does not mean you can assume it always. Always ask your partner. A Maybe is not a Yes, and a NO means NO. Respecting each other is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship
- Contraception
Unless you and your partner are planning to have a baby, contraception becomes an important part of the whole conversation around sex. The awkwardness around discussing which contraception to is always avoided in most relationships, which put both you and your partner at risk.
How to address it: Sex is a shared responsibility and hence, discussions around contraception are absolutely necessary. Have a candid talk with your partner so that you can maturely make a decision about which contraceptive is the right one for you. Also, always remember – you must use condoms to prevent STIs.
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